Michael Lown
BartoIndiana Jones: 4 times as old
May 27th 2008 03:16
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a mediocrity, wrapped in an enigma tied up in a bow of expectation. I know, I died a little on the inside as well. That’s not to say that Indy 4 is horrid, far from it. There are plenty of mediocre films around, they’re perfectly watchable, they just also happen to be flawed and uneven. We accept mediocre films and give them fabulous box office rewards. I embrace mediocrity like the irritating little brother it is – loveable, but occasionally grating. I do not embrace mediocre Indiana Jones.
The movie opens perfectly. We’re straight in to the action, with Harrison Ford in whip-cracking form and classic retro villains all round. The period detail is right, and the political tensions of the day (reds under beds, the cast of Grease brawling in milk bars) provides a nice subtle score against which everything is set.
An ageing Indiana is struggling in his day job, when the son of a former love interest begs him to help save her from Russian rogues in South America. The son is Shia LaBeouf, who is a perfectly matched energetic and charismatic foil for our hero. The head Russian is Cate Blanchett, who is over the top and mesmerizing in equal doses. Ultimately all involved end up in a race to find the Crystal Skull, and its matching Kingdom.
So far, so Indy. The plot is a little leakier than usual, but a decade or so is bound to lead to incontinence. Almost every other character but the described three seems to be there to provide necessary information. This is a little annoying when you consider two of those characters are played by John Hurt and Ray Winstone, who are wasted. Even Marion Ravenwood, recurring from the first movie (if you didn’t know that already, you probably don’t even care about the series anyway) goes from initially invigorating to incredibly schmaltzy.
I can pinpoint where the movie ultimately jumps the shark. It’s the point when Shia starts swinging through the trees like Tarzan in order to catch up with the three car chase hurtling towards the cliff. And he’s assisted by a gang of monkeys. Indiana has never been about realism, but somehow it’s always stayed away from farce. Until that point.
Then there’s the realisation of what the Crystal Skull is (which the audience has figured out an hour earlier) which sends it into the X Files zone. At the same time, you can’t help but have the strangest sense of deja vu. It feels like you’ve seen some of these plot points before, only with Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz. Finally, as the closing credits roll, and you play the climax in your head the strangest thing occurs to you. Everything Indiana did (aside from initially rescuing his friends) ends up being completely irrelevant and pointless. His actions were actually unnecessary. This does not an equation for satisfaction make.
Most of the disappointment is our fault. We allowed this movie to be over-hyped like hype was in short-supply. Hype is never in short supply (see Sex and the City). I like to think that in a year’s time, once it’s all died away, I will be able to view this again and enjoy it the way I enjoy the first three in the franchise. All giddy adventure, less vague amusement and recognition. All the ingredients are there, it’s just the writing that runs out of puff.
The movie opens perfectly. We’re straight in to the action, with Harrison Ford in whip-cracking form and classic retro villains all round. The period detail is right, and the political tensions of the day (reds under beds, the cast of Grease brawling in milk bars) provides a nice subtle score against which everything is set.
An ageing Indiana is struggling in his day job, when the son of a former love interest begs him to help save her from Russian rogues in South America. The son is Shia LaBeouf, who is a perfectly matched energetic and charismatic foil for our hero. The head Russian is Cate Blanchett, who is over the top and mesmerizing in equal doses. Ultimately all involved end up in a race to find the Crystal Skull, and its matching Kingdom.
So far, so Indy. The plot is a little leakier than usual, but a decade or so is bound to lead to incontinence. Almost every other character but the described three seems to be there to provide necessary information. This is a little annoying when you consider two of those characters are played by John Hurt and Ray Winstone, who are wasted. Even Marion Ravenwood, recurring from the first movie (if you didn’t know that already, you probably don’t even care about the series anyway) goes from initially invigorating to incredibly schmaltzy.
I can pinpoint where the movie ultimately jumps the shark. It’s the point when Shia starts swinging through the trees like Tarzan in order to catch up with the three car chase hurtling towards the cliff. And he’s assisted by a gang of monkeys. Indiana has never been about realism, but somehow it’s always stayed away from farce. Until that point.
Then there’s the realisation of what the Crystal Skull is (which the audience has figured out an hour earlier) which sends it into the X Files zone. At the same time, you can’t help but have the strangest sense of deja vu. It feels like you’ve seen some of these plot points before, only with Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz. Finally, as the closing credits roll, and you play the climax in your head the strangest thing occurs to you. Everything Indiana did (aside from initially rescuing his friends) ends up being completely irrelevant and pointless. His actions were actually unnecessary. This does not an equation for satisfaction make.
Most of the disappointment is our fault. We allowed this movie to be over-hyped like hype was in short-supply. Hype is never in short supply (see Sex and the City). I like to think that in a year’s time, once it’s all died away, I will be able to view this again and enjoy it the way I enjoy the first three in the franchise. All giddy adventure, less vague amusement and recognition. All the ingredients are there, it’s just the writing that runs out of puff.
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Comment by Aimzster
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Comment by Brad Gaylard
Mens Zen
Comment by Jess Paine
It is almost irritating that they even bothered with a new movie. Aside from the nostalgia value, they've taken a bit of a shine off a well-loved and remembered trilogy. I suppose George Lucas has form in that area...
Comment by Jess Paine
Just checked out your review of INdy - we are definitely on the same page. It's fun, but certainly not a worthy successor. Also, any attempt to use Shia in a spin-off would reek of a cash grab.
Comment by Anonymous
Karen Allen is just plain Ick. Reminds me of that mummy from Thundercats crossed with one of the aliens the crystal skull belongs to.
How many rides do you think Disneyland will base off of this one?
Comment by Brad Gaylard
Mens Zen
Seriously... he isn't Indiana Jones any more in this film - he's Henry Jones Jr.
Comment by Jess Paine